Love

The topic of love is always on my mind. Despite being less of a romantic than most girls, I have found that I do very much enjoy the feeling of love. I have always had a strong connection with family and a group of friends. I have never had a single view that the man in my life is the only form of love that I can feel. Love takes many forms and shapes. One can love family, friends, lover.. and yet, it never seems to diminish our capacity to continue to love more. However, do we truly know what it is to love another person? Do we understand the work that must be done in order to keep from harming the object of our affection?

My definition of love has changed as years have gone past. As I have studied more Buddhism, I have found that things I have felt all my life are foundations of Buddhist philosophy. I try to let those I care about know how much they mean to me. I am not scared to tell someone I love them; also, I am not scared to not have said words repeated to me. My love is not conditional on it being reciprocated.

While waiting for my doctor's appointment the other day, I stopped by Barnes and Noble. Per normal, I went to the section holding the wealth of knowledge I so enjoy. My eyes rested upon the book True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart by Thich Nhat Hanh. Normally I scoff at books that announce a way to find your soul mate, to find true love. However, I decided to give it a shot. (The author was nominated for a Noble Peace Prize by Martin Luther King Jr, afterall.) Within the first few pages I was inspired to write again. I want to scream from the mountains how important it is to love and be loved.

If you are going to devote a portion of your life with anyone (friend, family, or lover), you should want to make them happy. You should want to In Buddhist tradition there are four key aspects to Love: maitri (lovingkindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (joy), and upeksha (freedom). All of these ideas are more than just a desire, you must also have the ability to make your partner happy and joyful. In the book, Thich Nhat Hahn explains how we must really look, listen, and be there for your love. He advises to focus on your breathing to bring your mind and body into the present moment. Once you achieved balance by bringing the mind and body into the present, you should recite four matras to your loved one. (Note: These do not have to be stated all at one time)

• Dear one, I am here for you.
• Dear one, I know that you are here, and it makes me very happy.
• Dear one, I know that you are suffering, that is why I am here for you.
• Dear one, I am suffering, please help me.
  

While these exact phrases may feel and sound silly to say, the meaning behind the words is unforgettable. Who doesn't want to feel like their loved one is really there for them? Don't we all want to be acknowledged and know that our presence is bringing joy to our significant others life? Who doesn't want someone to truly be there for them when they hurting? Love is about opening yourself up completely to someone, about being comfortable in your own skin, and about working hard to maintain the relationship.